Angelica

In My Bankruptcy Feelings

Recently a friend of mine reached out to me regarding the possibility that they may file for bankruptcy.  When I started this blog, I definitely wanted to be used as resource for anyone who needed financial guidance and/or just to talk out their finances. So, when this friend reached out, it made me feel like this blog is accomplishing the effect I wanted it to have… this idea that we can just openly talk about our financial worries and any money matters with each other without feeling like we can’t or shouldn’t.

I listened to my friend talk about their reasoning for possibly considering filing for bankruptcy, and it made me reflect on my own bankruptcy adventure.

It took me months of weighing the pros and cons of bankruptcy before finally deciding that it was the right move for me. It wasn’t an easy decision, but ultimately the amount of debt I had from terribly managed spending habits was collapsing onto my very being. I felt suffocated and unable to find my grounding. The thing about bankruptcy, is that it’s not just something you decide on a whim. It’s a carefully thought out decision, and I think there’s still this incorrect idea in our society that people who file for bankruptcy are 1) failures and 2) looking for an easy way out.

I certainly felt that this is what others might think about me once they found out that I was going to file for bankruptcy, and look at me now! I have an entire website where the premise is my bankruptcy, and I shout it out at audiences when I do stand up! My bankruptcy is not a secret because I want to normalize it. Filing for bankruptcy is a normal thing, and we shouldn’t look down on people who decide to do so. Because guess what, folks!

It’s not an easy way out. It comes with after effects, or what you’d call consequences. When I finally decided to file for bankruptcy, it was me becoming fully cognizant of my situation and also of the work I had to put in after my discharge. 

For me, my decision was worth it even if every now and then I am faced with hurdles because my bankruptcy is on my credit report and will be on there for nine more years!

I remember the first few times that I saw my therapist after my bankruptcy was discharged, and how she even noticed the difference in my attitude and mood. I felt relief. A huge source of anxiety and stress had been lifted from my shoulders because I recognized what was best for me and my life.

So to my friend, and to whoever else is or has contemplated filing for bankruptcy:

  • Do your research. Reach out to people who you know might have done this before. (HIIIIIIIII, I’M AVAILABLE TO TALK WITH YA’LL!!!!!!!!)
  • Research lawyers who are reputable.
  • Weigh the pros & cons (which I’ll make a post about in the future)
  • Think about what you will have to do/how your life will be post-bankruptcy. You have to have a plan in place so that you can learn better financial habits.
  • But most of all, TRUST YOURSELF.
  • AND DISMISS THE BAD ENERGY FROM PEOPLE WHO MAY LOOK DOWN ON YOU FOR DOING SO.

Filing for bankruptcy is a normal thing to do. I could get into my rant about capitalism, but I won’t. Just know that you are not alone in facing this possibility, and that it’s OK.

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Angelica

Wait, it’s 2019 already? Ah, shiiit. Where did all my money go?

When we last saw our hero, she was carefully organizing her plan towards a financial comeback after having filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy in early 2017. What has she been up to since then?

Struggling. 

All right, let’s address the elephant in the room first. I clearly have not updated this website since June 2018 where I addressed how depression was just one of many contributing causes toward my financial turmoil that led to my bankruptcy. Let’s just say that things got hella wild after that post, and my life took many twists and turns that left me unable/unmotivated/uninterested to keep pursuing certain avenues in my life, such as this blog.

The motivation that I initially began with to turn my financial life around disappeared à la Thano’s snapping his fingers (sorry, not sorry, this shouldn’t be a spoiler anymore). This isn’t to say that my finances are in utter collapse. I’ve been able to stay on top of things for the most part, but there is still a lot for me to learn.

So, once again, dear reader, let’s continue to learn from each other and tackle our finances. Be a hot mess, but don’t be a financial hot mess! New tagline, who this?!

The first step toward bettering your money habits is to acknowledge where your money has gone.

Here’s a quick breakdown of where the hell my money disappeared to in 2018 according to my bank’s filtering system:

 


Using the filters to analyzed my 2018 spending habits isn’t without its drawbacks. There are a few expenses that my bank sometimes categorized into different categories. Expenses sometimes were sorted into different categories during different months. Example: A Visa credit card payment in one month was categorized under Financial, but during a different month wound up as Uncategorized or Personal.

I am also intrigued as to how it only came up with $239.97 as Travel when I took a trip to Peru in 2018, which was WAY more than $239.97. Small details in how the filtering system works, this overall snapshot still helps get a sense of where my money has been.

Having access to this quick breakdown will definitely factor into how I decide to handle my money this year. But let’s also be real, I’m going to make mistakes (YOU are going to make mistakes), but that is COMPLETELY OK. Don’t hold yourself to perfect standards AND MOST IMPORTANTLY don’t hold yourself in comparison to someone else and how they’re handling their money.

Look I acknowledge I have work to do. You should acknowledge you do, too.

However, I am also acknowledging the progress I have made. It doesn’t matter if other people think that my progress has been small. It’s my progress, and I am happy to see it have occurred.

My progress in 2018:

I am able to pay my monthly bills, and have money to use on “Food & Drink”. 

So, consider the areas you have to work on, but also take note of whatever small or big progress you have personally made in your finances, too!

 

 

 

Angelica

Depression Made Me Buy It: How To Hold Yourself Financially Accountable Even During Emotionally Trying Times

Today I want to talk about depression and how it can affect your finances. For those new to Breaking the Piggy Bank, let me quickly catch you up. I began this website after having hit several financial mishaps that eventually led to me making the decision to file for bankruptcy. The goal is to make money issues less taboo, and to provide a platform for those of us learning to stand on our own financial ground.

What contributed heavily to my financial misadventures? Lack of self-control, a desire for instant gratification, poor money management skills, terrible priorities, an inability to say no to choices that would strain me financially, and (drumroll) my depression. Whether you have clinical depression or not, we all struggle with times when spending money makes you feel better. However, that sort of thinking is not conducive to long-term money goals.

It is one thing to buy yourself a greasy meal as comfort or the videogame that you think is going to help you feel better versus drowning your depression in $100 worth of shots… and boy have I been there! If you have found yourself in a similar situation before, then you should know that there are things you can do to control your depression from taking a toll on your financial goals.

Depression is a lifelong struggle. While it is not constant, there are times in life when it will creep back in and put a hold on a lot of your life including your finances. You may begin to question why working toward that long-term financial goal is worth it. During these times it may be best to remember how you first felt when you began to work on the money goal. Did you feel relief, a sense of accomplishment or pride? Those feelings were genuine and are only gone temporarily. Of course, the length of time that “temporarily” is can vary, but regardless if you persevere even during the bouts of depression or sad moments in life, you’ll come out far better financially.

So, what are specific actions we can take to protect our finances when depression creeps in again or when life is too tough and spending money seems like the easiest thing to do?

  1. Plan ahead: Set up a separate account, whether checking or savings, that you will not have regular access to spend money from. It doesn’t have to have a huge sum of money in it, but ideally during every paycheck or every other paycheck, you want to send some money that way. If you are working toward a specific long-term financial goal, then have this account be where you are setting that money aside. For example, if you like to go camping during the summer and want to have money set aside for that, send it to an external account rather than keeping it in your main account. Not having that money as easily accessible can help make sure that even during a depressive episode, money toward that goal is not affected. I like to use online banks because it makes transferring money back into my main account a hassle to do, even if it is just waiting around a few extra days. That extra step and delayed instant gratification goes a long way when you feel depressed. In my case, I usually end up thinking, “Why bother it won’t make me feel good right now.” My main bank account is with Simple, and my external account is with American Express (yes, they have savings accounts options and have no physical bank branch… so I can’t take money out as easily.)
  2. Allow yourself to spend some money: I’ve allowed myself to spend money on Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream when I feel like hiding from society. Find something small that you’re all right with spending money as a small pick-me-up. Try to avoid large purchases by writing out on paper why you think you want to make that large purchase. This extra step can help clarify in your brain why it seems necessary in the moment. Return to this thought the next day to see if you still feel the same way. Impulse purchases seem like a good idea in the moment when you first think about them, and depression can certainly make them seem alluring. Adding an extra step and returning to it, can help you stray away from money decisions you will later regret.
  3. Evaluate, Reflect & Re-plan: If you end up sabotaging your finances momentarily, it’s OK. Everything we do serves as a moment to review, reflect and then learn from. In doing so, you will be able to figure out a plan for a future instance where you may lean toward not caring about your money goals. Take me for example, I had to take a hard look at the mistakes I made in my past, many of these during years when my depression had taken a hold of my finances. The outcome has only been positive.
  4. Take a break from the finances: Look, it’s no surprise that focusing too much on your finances when you aren’t in the right mind and space for it can result in feelings of despair and/or anxiety. It can make everything that much more overwhelming. It’s OK to take a break from crunching numbers and figuring out how to pay for long-term goals. Sometimes, you will need that space. For instance, I recently became a little too obsessed over how to pay for braces while also going through a rough mental patch. The result? I became more overwhelmed than needed and felt like just giving up on all of my financial goals (not just saving for the braces). I felt a lot better once I took a break from my spreadsheet to focus on other things that would help me mentally. Do the same when you need to. Just be sure to not ignore it completely. Make time to go back to your spreadsheet/notebook/bank app when you are in a calm state.

These are just a few things that might help you avoid falling into the trap that I often slid right into. This trap is known as the “my depression made me buy it”. As always, stay strong. You are in charge of your behavior that leads to your financial wellbeing, and I believe in all of you.

What are some of your strategies for taking care of your finances even when things in life get emotionally rough? Comment below or shoot the Pig an anonymous message with your thoughts.

Angelica

Be Money Smart When You Travel

After a week hiatus, I am back! Thought I was going to be gone for a long time? No, I invested in this domain name for a year, and I will get my money’s worth out of this domain! I traveled to Peru, and enjoyed llama-watching along with other great experiences. However, this isn’t a travel blog. So, let’s talk money!

I often get asked how I am able to afford traveling. I think some people have an assumption that I must be making bank whenever they see that I am posting photos from another destination. I am in fact, not rolling in dough a la Scrooge McDuck style, unfortunately. However, I have learned to be money smart when it comes to traveling. Learned is the key word here, as with anything else on Breaking the Piggy Bank, I had to learn how to be financially savvy when it came to traveling.

My traveling experiences can be broken down to two categories:

Traveling While Not Planning Ahead and Saying Fuck It

Traveling While Being Money Smart

Can you imagine what the difference may be?

My first experiences traveling were in my early 20s. I was financially stable enough, but hadn’t yet learned how to proactively plan towards something, such as a trip. However, I had a near perfect credit score, which in return gave me a few credit cards with high limits. As you can imagine, my traveling amounted to charging nearly everything on my credit cards. I went to Wisconsin Dells purely by nearly maxing out my credit card. Seeing the pickle I had gotten into, my aunt decided to help me out afterwards. She loaned me the money to pay off that credit card, so that I could pay her back without interest.

Yet, I didn’t learn my lesson there.

The trips I took a few years later to Las Vegas and New Orleans? Basically, I charged everything for them, too. One could say I had no business traveling, and one could be right. Looking back now I realize that I could have still traveled to those places, but I should have been planning for them instead. Furthermore, I should have at least made a solid plan in how to pay off everything was charging on my credit cards for those trips. Instead, my mentality was stuck in the “fuck it, I’ll figure it out later” mode.

Now, in the present, I am a stickler towards being proactive about trips. If I know that there might be the chance to travel somewhere in a certain month, then I go ahead and start saving money towards that months ahead. I have a general travel fund in my bank account goals that allows me to set aside money with each month towards that fund.

So, even if I hadn’t planned on visiting New York City in February, I still had money set aside in my travel fund to use on NYC when my friend invited me there. Had there been no money set aside in that travel fund, then this girl wasn’t going anywhere. As far as Peru, I had been saving towards that since December/ January.

How did I get started? Honestly, the first trip I took while being money smart was to Austin, Texas about two years ago. It’s around that time that I began to use a spreadsheet to keep track of my expenses, and that is the tool that helped save towards Austin. Austin had been a challenge to myself to see if I was able to travel because up to that point I had told myself that I had no business traveling with my financial mishaps. However, Austin was the challenge to start new again. To test myself in how I could save to travel rather than use a credit card. From that and subsequent trips, I learned to be money smart when traveling.

Here are some tips and tools on how to be money smart when traveling that I use:

  • Consider your travel options. What is a cost effective way to get there— Via road, train, or air? When I visited Rochester, I decided to forgo the convenience of an airplane and chose the much cheaper option of taking the train there, instead.
  • If you decide to make a road trip out of it, then calculate gas totals. This is especially important if you are not the one who’s car is being used. Make sure you have that person’s back by setting aside how much your half of gas is going to cost.
  • If you’re going to travel by plane, I’d recommend using the app Hopper to keep track of cheap dates. It’s a very handy app when it comes to deciding the best time to fly somewhere. I’ve also used Google Flights for more last minute trips to compare prices.
  • Consider using airbnb with your friends to split the cost of lodging. If you don’t want the whole apartment to yourself because you’ll be out exploring the whole day, you may consider just renting a room through airbnb. Cheaper option.
  • Use Trip Advisor or Yelp for researching how much meals may cost at your destination. This will give you an idea of how much money you may need to set aside to eat or drink.
    • Trip Advisor has some useful forums when it comes to asking for questions about international trips like how much money people typically needed to get by.
  • You can use your credit card for your trip, BUT don’t let it be your only means of getting by. If you do use it for above average expenses while traveling, then make a plan ahead of time on how you will be paying down that balance!
  • Research what type of free things there are to do at your destination. Sometimes you get lucky and there’s a free festival going on during your time there. There’s always free things to do, so that you don’t have to pay to enjoy your vacation.
  • Find a side hustle: If you’re in a time crunch to save or have unexpected expenses come up, then find a side hustle to get money toward your trip. I have done side gigs, such as dog-sitting, website design, and money management counseling to get money I could use toward a trip.
  • Use a spreadsheet! Like always, I know, I’m a broken record, but for real… it’s a handy tool to help proactively plan your travel expenses and plan to pay back friends on the trip and/or credit card purchases while on the trip. Below are two examples of how I use spreadsheets in planning for a trip.
Screenshot (12)
In my spreadsheet for the year, I have a tab that only deals with Travel Goals. The amount is pulled from each month’s travel fund allotment. So, if I change the amount going to my travel funds in July, this sheet automatically updates. This allows me control over planning for trips I have in mind. It’s also a good way to plan how much money I’ll have a month after traveling to put towards any credit card purchases I made while on the trip. As you can see, I also used this sheet to keep track of the amount being spent on airbnb.
Screenshot (13)
This is what it looks like on my monthly sheets. At the top where I include money in and out of the account, I also have a section for goals for the month. As far as traveling, I link up each monthly amount set aside so that it keeps adding up with the following month. The amount you see here of $1,030 is not just from March, but from previous months to get a total of how much I had set aside.

I hope some of these tips can help. I plan on having a more in depth post in the future on how you can create your own travel spreadsheet.

Remember, you can travel, but be smart with your money when it comes to booking, going, and enjoying your trip!

Angelica

I Tried to Open a Savings Account…Hilarity Possibly Ensued.

Remember those money goals I posted about in January? Let’s check in with one of those goals:

I will open an actual savings account separate from my current bank account. This will help me resist the urge to “borrow” from money I have set aside. I have no problem setting money aside, but then end up telling myself that I can always “borrow” from this money if I replenish it the following month. (We’ve established already that I get paid monthly.)

Well, I tried to open a savings account twice this past month, and both times I was declined! All right, all right, you got me. That line is slightly misleading. Did I get declined both times that I attempted to open a savings account? Yes, that much is true. Both times were with the same credit union.

The first time I was denied because I had applied for a regular savings account without having first applied for a “membership” savings account which established membership at the credit union. In my defense, I thought I was already a member! How could I have been mistaken in my membership? Well, folks. This is the same credit union that approved for my first (non-predatory) credit card post-bankruptcy (months later, way later). Since I am a cardholder member with them, they had opened up a non-transaction savings account to establish membership with them. See how easily I made the mistake of assuming I had a membership account already?

The second time I applied for the correct “membership” savings account. Then, I still got denied! Why? Apparently, I failed my own credit history questions. Due to this the credit union flagged my application as possible fraud. I swear those credit history questions are tricky sometimes.

I always had the opportunity to apply yet again! However, failing two times already just made me say, “Screw it. I don’t need to have a savings account”.

It was too much adulting.

It wasn’t until I was going through some old documents at home that I realized I once had a savings account with American Express. Yes, you heard right. American Express offers online savings accounts. I was able to dig up my old information, and wondered if there was a chance the account was still open and active, despite not having had used it in years!

Ladies and gentlemen, not only was this account still open…

but there was money in it! How much money?

$1.25

You read that right!

This was from interest alone, essentially.

You know that feeling when you find a crumpled up dollar in your jeans during laundry day? That’s how I felt when I saw the $1.25 in my savings account. CUE ANY JUDGMENTAL PEOPLE. I’ve already been transparent enough to say I’ve handled my finances very poorly in the past. Did you miss the tagline on this website that mentions I filed for bankruptcy?

So go ahead, you can think to yourself: This girl was/is a financial hot mess.

I’m clearly working on it, and I know there are a lot of other people out there just like me. So, this post is to everyone out there who doesn’t have a savings account, has one but nothing in it, is trying to learn how to save, etc., etc.

Let’s keep moving forward!

FYI, I transferred money from my checking account to my savings account because my plan is to utilize it. So here’s to the first step to meeting my savings account goal! I’ll do a check in later in the year.

Angelica

I got a tax refund, now what?

taxes

You may be someone who is receiving a tax refund this year. If so, hey, awesome for you!

What are you going to be doing with that money?

Today’s post will focus on learning to prioritize and plan what to do with your tax refund. If you happen to be someone who is not receiving a tax refund, hey I hear you, been there, too. This can still be relevant to you in terms of learning to prioritize with any sort of money.

I’m only talking about taxes in order to be topical.

Plus, I think when you get a refund, it is easy to lose track of it and spend it without having a plan. If I happened to receive a refund while I was living paycheck to paycheck, I would lose control and before I knew it that money was gone. Why? Because I wouldn’t be used to having “extra” money in my bank account. So, like with any time you may find yourself with some “extra” money, whether a refund, overtime pay, or side gig pay, we can try and form habits that will help us hold onto that money a little longer and prioritize where it is spent.

Tip #1: Create Goals

When creating money goals for a refund, extra & side income, I like to ask myself a few questions.

Is there something I have been meaning to get around to that I have not yet?Outstanding bill? Class I’ve been meaning to take? Something that needs to be repaired sooner than later?

Is there something I would like to get to in the future that I can plan towards?
A trip somewhere? A class I haven’t thought about yet? A renovation project? Early retirement? (ha…)

These two questions help me actively think about how to best allocate any extra money I have coming into my bank account. By actively asking myself these questions, I can then create goals to categorize that money into it.

Since I am receiving a refund this year, the answers to these two questions turned into the following goals for myself:

  • Pay therapy deductible from earlier last year. (immediate goal)
  • Pay extended car warranty deductible to fix minor inconvenient issue. (immediate goal)
  • Set aside for Peru trip in April. (short term goal)
  • Set aside for general savings fund. (long term goal)

I like to create goals that are a variety of immediate, short and long term. This makes it easier to be able to form a habit of not saying BYE to that extra money right away.

Tip #2: Visually Organize

“I’m keeping track of it in my head,” is something I used to say all the time. Guess what! It didn’t work for me because I learned that having a visual representation of these goals holds me more accountable than just keeping it all in my head.

How can you visualize it?

You can simply write it down somewhere you will actively look at it. It can be as simple as a list. However, I found that drawing it out in a little web of sorts and color coding helps me out more than just a written post it. See example below:

MVIMG_20180214_141235.jpg
(This was one visual representation while I sorted out my priorities. My brain works best when I am drawing out, literally. Sometimes it takes a few drafts before I settle on a final version.)

Check to see if your bank’s app or website has a feature that will help you categorize your money. For example, I use Simple. The Simple app and website have a “Goals” feature where you can move money in your bank account to different categories. This becomes a useful visual guide of where you PLAN on using your money.

Simple App Goals.png
(Photo from Simple’s website)

Tip #3: Divide & Conquer by Calculating

Decide based on your goals how much of the extra money you find yourself with will go to each of those goals. I like to use a spreadsheet, but again you can write this down. Assigning a fixed amount to each goal makes it easier to reach than simply telling yourself “Some of it will go to Goal 1, some of it will go to Goal 2, and whatever is left over will go to etc etc”. Throw ACTUAL numbers in there. Doing so can help you feel more in control. Below is how I used my spreadsheet to divide & conquer my goals with my tax refund.

Screenshot (1)
(The above spreadsheet example allows you to throw in numbers and calculate toward the different goal categories.)

Actively planning using these strategies helps me hold myself more accountable toward actually using that extra money toward what I say I want to use it on. Does the idea of buying a Nintendo Switch spontaneously tempt me to splurge instead? YES, BECAUSE DEAR GOD AM I THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT A NINTENDO SWITCH YET? However, I am in charge of prioritizing my goals. Unfortunately, the Nintendo Switch just isn’t one of my more immediate goals.

As with anything I post on this website, you are free to disagree with what I offer. I’ve only developed these strategies having dealt with a lot of financial mishaps, and so far I have been on a better financial path. You may learn that you work differently and that what works for me doesn’t work for you, and that’s fine! I want to encourage you to find what works for you! (and maybe share that with people!)

Don’t forget you can ASK THE PIG a question to be answered during next month’s ASK THE PIG post.

 

Other money musings to check out this week:

“Where to Write When You’re Cheap and Broke?” by Onicia Muller

“You cannot Buy Permanent Happiness With Material Possessions” over at Thinking a Hole in the Earth

Angelica

Done Is Better Than Perfect

80dollars

In case you missed it, I have an official domain name for this site. Buh-bye, wordpress URL, and HELLO breakingthepiggybank.com! I know it doesn’t seem like much, but this is a major step forward for me. You have no idea how I agonized for the last six months about committing this website to a domain name. I was afraid to post new content because it wasn’t a “real” website (whatever that means).

I continued to justify not spending the 10 bucks to register a domain name by saying I didn’t need it because I didn’t post that often, but then not posting often because I didn’t consider the site to be more than just some random person’s blog. Whenever I was close to hitting the purchase button, I stopped myself. I patted myself on the back for not having spent those 10 bucks on a domain when I had to to get new windshield wipers and spark plugs for my car.

10 bucks. 10 bucks! It was just 10 bucks!

You know what I did spend those 10 bucks on?

  • A few Wendy’s 4 for 4 meals (granted, a great value! But that added up to be more than 10 bucks!) = 4 bucks each
  • An 80s themed cocktail event = 30 bucks
  • Adler After Dark event at the Adler Planetarium for 2 = 40 bucks total
  • Two cocktails at the Adler After Dark event = 20 bucks total
  • Ramen dinner + smoothie = 20 bucks
  • Potbelly’s = 8 bucks

Of course, there were other non-essentials that I spent my money on. These were just a few to name. With these alone, the total comes up to 122 bucks (not considering I had Wendy’s a lot). I had no problem spending 122 or more on those items, but kept making up excuses to not spend 10 bucks on a domain name for this website.

I was holding myself back when the 10 bucks was not the issue.

After discussing with my co-worker whether I should buy a domain name and get rid of ads on WordPress, she told me that I don’t practice what I preach about taking my projects seriously. She was right. In a manner of five minutes, I made a decision that I had been sitting on for the past few months.

I decided to invest in Breaking the Piggy Bank. Not only did I buy the domain name, but I also upgraded my WordPress account in order to eliminate ads and have more control of the website’s CSS. Was it more than 10 bucks? OH YEAH.

Try 96 bucks for the year. I know, I know but follow me on this one!

WordPress broke it down to 8 bucks per month. 8 bucks per month? Yeah, I can spare 8 bucks per month on a project that I believe in. Spending the 96 bucks on finally getting this website to the next level of where I want it to be is worth it.

This website is a project I want to keep spending time on, and that meant I needed to treat it as an actual investment on my end. I’ll be reflecting at the end of the year to see how this investment on my end turned out!

As my friend, Onicia Muller, reminded me recently: “Done is better than perfect.”

Is the website everything I want it to be yet? No. But had I kept waiting until it was perfect to buy a domain name, then I probably would have also treated it as something that didn’t need to be updated regularly.

Final, important thought: If you have a goal that requires money to be spent on it, don’t tell yourself that you can’t afford it. Don’t use yourself as an excuse.

Analyze your recent spending habits for the last three months. What are you using your money on? Are you like me spending it on Wendy’s and cocktails? Or are you enjoying Starbucks on the regular? Whatever your habit is, find a way to alter that habit so that you can use the money that you typically spend on that toward the goal that you want. It may not be something that you can suddenly splurge on, but at least you can start setting that money aside by not hitting up Wendy’s like me! Sometimes changing small little habits can help reach those long-term money goals.

The only person that can attain your goal is you.

Think about it, we always somehow manage to find money to spend on a concert festival. Lollapalooza anyone? Why not somehow manage to find money to spend on that goal you want.

Angelica

Treat Yourself!

636224642182272196-1054711012_Treat-yo-self

 

… but plan for it ahead of time.

Look, I’m not a financial adviser. I haven’t written books of money from the perspective of a millionaire that pulled herself from her bootstraps. I haven’t helped thousands get their financial shit together through sold out speaking engagements, and I most certainly have not been booked by daytime TV in any capacity. I’m only talking from experience, and as with even expert opinions, you should take what I say with a grain of salt and decide for yourself what is best for you.

I get it. I want that. I want it now. I got to have it. Impulsive purchases give us a high of sorts. For me, it happened to be a coping mechanism to deal with my depression where buying more clothes felt like a good idea at the time, even though my closet was already overflowing with clothes I never even wore! Seriously, my mom and friends are notorious for telling me I always wear the same three items of clothing despite everything I have. Kind of like Charlie Brown, though nobody ever berates him about it. 

So, is treating yourself bad? No, but learning how much to treat yourself can be challenging.

Let’s go back in time. I grew up low income. My mother was a single parent working minimum paying jobs while trying to raise my sister and I. Going to the store was more about window shopping than actually buying things. Oh, you want McDonald’s? Sorry, no money for that. It was all about the essentials, and while my mom was certainly thrifty and resourceful, guess what happened when I started working while in college?

I went in the opposite direction of being thrifty and started buying anything I wanted (while still paying my half of the rent). I had absolutely no filter because as naive as it sounds, eighteen year old Angelica thought she was suddenly rich on her own minimum wage!

The majority of my checks working at some mall teen store went directly back into that store because of the enticing employee discount. I kept upgrading my computers and phones, as if I actually had the means for it. At this time, I still paid everything on time and had great credit until a few years later when treating myself finally caught up to me.

I hit the kind of wall that you hit when you’ve had one too many drinks.

After hitting this metaphorical wall, I then went into the other direction with the mentality of: I HAVE TO BUCKLE DOWN. Can’t spend money on that, or that or this, no more spending money.

Yet, that also was not the best solution for me. Having the mentality of “can’t spend money on that” just made me feel more guilty and horrible about myself and what direction I was headed toward. What was a girl to do?

PRIORITIZE.

It’s been a year since I have been practicing a solid budget, and I still get to treat myself. The difference? I have an annual budget on Excel (we’ll discuss this in more detail in later posts) where I am able to view at a glance each month, determine necessary expenses (bills, groceries, utilities) and then figure out how much money is left over that I can spend on other things I want. This way I can treat myself to coloring my hair or going to a concert or taking a trip.

I’ve even set dates that I know for certain that I want to treat myself on, and actually save money ahead of time for that Treat Yourself Day that I picked. If you know that next month you want to go out on the town, then save for that night this month! Obviously, this should be different from a normal savings routine. It’s better to be proactive than borrow money from your actual savings account for a Treat Yourself Day.

It’s OK to treat yourself, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Why is it that money has a tendency to make us feel guilty? Guilt doesn’t make for the best relationship, and something I learned from reading plenty of self help books this past year is that in general we have to learn to have a much more positive relationship with money.

So, treat yourself responsibly. Plan ahead or prioritize current expenses in order to feel less guilty about it, and also to maintain control over how, when and with what you treat yourself.

 

 

Angelica

Do you remember your first piggy bank?

Mine was Mexican. He was born and raised in Mexico before deciding that he would have a better future by pursuing the American Dream. He was large, bright red, and had flowers tattooed all over his ceramic body. Unfortunately, things did not end well for him.

After following me, the little pigtail-ed girl that fed him every now and then to the U.S., he met a rather abrupt end.

The weapon: a hammer. The motive: I wanted money right then and there.

Do you remember the first time you broke a piggy bank?

You can’t un-break a piggy bank. You can certainly try to glue it back together or wrap it up in band-aids. The action, though remains in the past. The action cannot be taken back.

Sure, modern piggy banks come with little round, plastic covers on their bellies so you can get slide your money out without resorting to murder. These aren’t real piggy banks. These fake pigs are the equivalent of a checking account: a tool where you can keep spending your money right as you deposit it.

Do you remember when you first paid the bare minimum amount on your credit card? Or when you missed a payment? Or when you didn’t finish paying off your balance before the zero percent interest period expired? Or when you transferred a balance to another card? Or when you avoided answering your phone? Or when you began hording a massive GLAD bag of unopened bills deep inside your tiny closet?

I broke all those figurative piggy banks. The problem was that because they weren’t real piggy banks, they never made any noise. I never had to immediately clean up the pieces. I silently continued to keep making more bad decisions.

The weapon: impulsiveness. The motive: I wanted money right then and there.

WAIT UP ANGELICA, what the HEY is this blog about?

Spoiler alert: I filed for bankruptcy SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO!

I’ve learned a lot from my horrible financial decisions. In the year in took me to come up with the money to retain my bankruptcy lawyer, I also learned how to develop a healthy relationship with money and have been able to maintain a decent budget. There’s still more I am learning, but I want to be able to share what I’ve learned and also continue on this financial wellness journey with you.

In short: Whatever your financial situation right now (and maybe you never even went close to bankruptcy) there’s a lot of us in the same boat, trying to take our piggy banks back to safety.

Let’s stop simply bitching about money and start being proactive. Let’s also stop treating money like it’s this big and scary monster, and learn how to think of it as a positive thing.

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Let’s stop feeling like we can’t talk about money.