I feel like an imposter when it comes to this blog and my ability to help others financially. To be fair I also feel like an imposter in a lot of other aspects of my life from writing to comedy to anything, really.
Here’s the thing: I know that I know things about finance, which I learned through the many mistakes that I have made. I’ve gotten a pretty good grip on my own finances, and know that the tools I use and the habits that I practice can help other like-and-ready-minded people like myself.
Then, why do I continue to feel like an imposter?
Feeling like an imposter is my crutch. It’s an easy to go to excuse to limit myself.
Recently my lack of struggle against the imposter syndrome has led me to procrastinate on a money project that I was working on for someone else: a spreadsheet. It should come as no surprise that spreadsheets are my go-to tools when it comes to wealth management (also known as: budgeting). As someone with an English major background, I used to detest spreadsheets.
Now I find myself fascinated by how they function, and most of all how to make them easy on the eyes and user-friendly. My motto is: if a spreadsheet looks ugly why am I going to be motivated to stare at it. So, a friend hired me to create a spreadsheet for them.
It’s not the spreadsheet that it’s the issue. I’ve made other spreadsheets for other people before. It’s not that I’ve been busy. I mean I am, but I’ve gotten pretty good at whipping up some basic “get your life together” spreadsheets. It’s just that now I am trapped in my head, thinking “who am I to offer this to that person?”
I was behind on a lot of payments. I owed a lot of money. I was sued by Capital One. I filed for bankruptcy. These are all failures. I’m a loser. What do I think I have to even offer to other people with this Breaking the Piggy Bank project?
What do I have to offer?
A spreadsheet? Yeah, but why shouldn’t this person just find someone who has been great with their finances for years and is natively great with numbers instead of me?
After letting my imposter syndrome take control, I decided to do some reflecting. The question turned to: What don’t I have to offer?
I’ve gotten my shit together (financial, at least). I don’t judge others for their finances. I have explored different avenues of budgeting. I have been doing well for at least the last year if not two years!
Ok, enough pep talk.
This particular post is what I would define as a “in progress” post. I think we are all constantly “in progress”. Sometimes, we just have to navigate through these crutches that we hold onto for dear life. Whether that crutch is feeling like an imposter or in terms of money management, feeling like no matter how much we make, we just can’t get out of debt. We become comfortable in using these crutches. Then we miss out on the progress that could have been made.
FYI, here is a sneak peek at the snazzy spreadsheet that I am creating for this friend. Know how long it took me to finally whip this template concept up once I finally kicked Mr. Imposter out? It was a pretty quick turnaround. All that is left is to enter the formulas.
Things to check out this week:
Speaking of imposter syndrome and inner critics. Writer and wonderful writing professor/mentor, Luís Alberto Urrea, wrote this short piece that is worth a read for those of us with constant inner critics. Go read “The Mr. Smith Syndrome” online.
Got something to say about this blog? I’d love to hear some positive things to help keep the Imposter Syndrome at bay. Comment. Tweet at me. DM me on Facebook or whatevs. You can even tell the Pig at Ask the Pig.