It’s like an advice column,
but not as judgmental or retrograded! Got a question about money? I’ll try to answer it to the best of my ability because we are all on this financial journey together!
So, gather around because the Pig is in!
This month’s Ask the Pig focuses on borrowed money.
Dear Breaking the Piggy Bank:
I loaned my sister $5K over the course of 2 years. For 3 years I’ve been telling her to pay her other debts before worrying about me. After letting the interest rack up, last Christmas, I finally paid off the credit card (I allowed her to use my credit for the loans) debt because she was likely never going to get to it. I told her that she doesn’t have to repay me BUT she’s never allowed to loan money and I wouldn’t be buying my nephew a Xmas gift. IMO not forcing his parents to repay me is a big gift. As his birthday approaches, I’m still suffering from the financial hit (cash flow, not emotional). How long can I use the I loaned your parents $5K so you can’t expect a gift from me excuse
– Broke Aunty
Dear Broke Aunty:
It sounds like you should be called Super Aunty, instead! First of all, I hope this response is still timely. I’m not sure when your nephew’s birthday was or will be, but at any rate I hope this is somewhat helpful. Now, it sounds like you decided to take on the burden of the financial responsibility that belonged to your sister and her partner, which is a TREMENDOUS action to take on. The unfortunate side of it is that now you are left feeling the cash pinch.
“How long can I use the I loaned your parents $5K so you can’t expect a gift from me excuse?”
A few thoughts:
I think that being honest with your nephew about how money is a bit tight for you at the moment can only serve to teach him the importance of how money works. In other words: money is not just something that we have unlimited access to. While there may be some people who may deem this as “taking it out on the kid” or “being stingy now”, I see it as a teachable moment for a child.
One thing I would caution about is pinpointing the money constraints on your nephew’s parents. As someone who was occasionally let it on the grown-up issues between my mom and her siblings while I was a child, I think there are certain things as kids we don’t want to hear about our parents or aunts and uncles. Being told that my parents are the reason that Super Aunty can’t buy my gifts, might make me unsure of how to take that information. Rather than holding the parents accountable in the form of your nephew, find teachable ways to explain how money should be budgeted. Since my line of work is around education, I’m also going to mention that the National Center for Families Learning has some great kid-friendly AND parent-friendly tools to learn about money. One such interactive game is A Day at Dollar General.
Furthermore, I think this is also a great time to demonstrate how love is not shown only in the manner of material things! I’m sure you can always give the gift of your time, as corny as that may sound. I think from a young age we are told by society that money and material things are what will make us happy. Being the aunt who engages with her nephew via quality time together: walks, arts & crafts, etc. , can also help teach that gifts aren’t everything. (Plus, I assume other people are also giving him gifts of some sort. What’s one less gift?)
I think keep doing you. You can keep the material gifts on the back burner for now.
A few other musings:
During the first Ask the Pig, Onicia (http://www.oniciamuller.com/resources.html) (an overall awesome person, writer, comedian, project manager and Type A personality) left us with a useful comment that gives food for thought about lending money to family and friends —
My mom says when you lend money always consider it a gift and don’t loan more than you’re willing to lose. Money spent is money spent. If you wanted it to grow or be part of your rainy day fund, keep it in the bank.
This is a thought I had not previously considered. I mentioned this idea to my aunt, and she raised her eyebrow. Take it as you will, but it is at least a thought worth noting.
Do you have something to Ask the Pig?
It could be anything from, “Hey Pig: What’s with your excel sheet?” to “Hey Pig: I still haven’t been able to save money consistently, got any tips?” or “Hey, Pig: How do I know which credit card to pay off first?”
Submissions are taken all month long and responded to every second week!